Jon Noyes talks to Becket Cook at a Reality Apologetics Conference about how his identity in Christ transformed his view of same-sex relationships. Discipleship involves denying sinful desires and submitting every area of life to Jesus.
Transcript
Jon Noyes: How do you explain to your friends—I mean, you had a lot of friends; you still have a lot of friends—how do you explain to them that someone can’t pursue same-sex relationships and God at the same time?
Becket Cook: Well, it’s interesting because, when I first got saved, one of my closest friends was this couple, married. Or, well, they’re not married, but they lived together. And Stephanie asked me—she’s kind of really smart about this—and she said, “Becket, so, let me get this straight. Now that you’re saved and you’re in the kingdom of God”—and this is a non-believer. She’s actually Jewish, and she’s, like, “And you’re in the kingdom of God, why can’t you now go out and date guys?”
And I was, like, “Steph, it’s kind of like, well, you’re in a relationship with your boyfriend, and why can’t you now go out and just have adulterous affairs with other people? Why can’t you have relationships with other people? Because you’re in this relationship with your boyfriend.”
And I just think of—and I quoted this verse to her in 1 John. I mean, there are so many verses in the Bible. There are so many verses regarding this, but 1 John says, “If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” And he goes on to say, “The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.” And just a couple more. He says, “No one who abides in Him sins; no one who sins has seen Him or knows Him.… The one who practices sin is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning.” And one last thing, “No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him” (NASB 1995).
So, yes, I can’t be in this relationship with Christ. I can’t follow him. He says, you know, deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me. If you want to be my disciple, you have to deny those desires. Deny those sinful desires, take up your cross, and follow me. Otherwise, don’t do it. I mean, he says, you know, don’t start building a building if you can’t finish it, because everyone’s going to laugh at you.
Jon: I think that’s a really good point. And this comes up actually in my suicide talk, as well, where God’s grace is so lavish. He is forgiving in everything, but that doesn’t give us an excuse to pursue our sin. You know, Paul in Romans 5 and 6 addresses that, as well.
Becket: And the tricky part about this particular sin is it’s so fraught because it’s become an identity, obviously, in our culture. It’s no longer just a behavior. Back in the ’80s, it was just a behavior. Now it’s a full-blown identity. So, I talk about this in my book. I talk about how this sin is the same but different. It’s the same in that it’s an offense against God, but it’s different in that there are gay pride parades, but there are not gossip pride parades or greed pride parades. So, it’s become this giant identity, and it’s very, very tough to untangle that identity from a person. And the only person who can do that untangling is the Holy Spirit.