Sexuality and Gender

Love Is Not a Finite Resource?

Author Robby Lashua Published on 02/07/2023

Slogans are the battle cry of the LGBTQ+ movement. Banners and flags, hoisted high, proudly proclaim these all-too-familiar statements: “Love is love,” “Born this way,” “Be proud, be visible.” All of these slogans are benign when taken at face value, yet we know that more complicated ideas are being expressed through these pithy statements. In a culture that advances agendas through memes, tweets, and slogans, we must be prepared to confront these false ideas.

There’s a new slogan coming from the LGBTQ+ community that requires clear thinking on our part. This slogan, like its predecessors, is a half-truth. Here it is: “Love is not a finite resource.”

What is the meaning behind this phrase? A Facebook post and a meme will help clarify. The Facebook post says, “Love is not a finite resource, #polyamorypride.” The popular meme says, “I wish people would realize that love is not a finite resource. Just because you love multiple people, doesn’t necessarily mean you love any one of them less.” I agree humans are capable of loving multiple people, but the post and the meme are expressing something more.

Polyamory involves being in romantic, sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time. It is quite literally non-monogamy. The message this new slogan is promoting is actually, “Sex is not a finite resource.” This philosophy has multiple problems. We need to think clearly and be prepared to respond to this polyamorous catchphrase.

First, let’s recognize the linguistic sleight of hand going on here. Using the word “love” to imply “sex” is deceptive, and here’s why. Sex and love aren’t synonyms. I love my wife, my kids, my mom, and my friends. However, most of the people I love are also people I don’t have a sexual relationship with. Actually, all of the people I love are people I’m not involved with sexually, except for one. Sex and love aren’t synonymous terms.

These types of linguistic tricks are often used to smuggle in destructive ideas. For instance, the belief that women ought to be able to legally choose to kill their unborn child is advertised as “pro-choice.” Choosing to give in to deviant sexual desires is championed as “brave” and something to take pride in. Advancing sinful actions by using virtuous terminology is deceptive. Don’t fall for it.

Secondly, human love is a finite resource because humans are finite beings. To be finite means to have limits or bounds. The opposite is to be infinite: limitless or boundless. Are we to believe that each human being has an infinite amount of love within them? Every aspect of humanity is finite. From our time, to our energy, physical resources, thoughts, and emotions, every aspect of our being has limitations.

Sharing our body, affections, attention, and loyalty with multiple romantic partners actually diminishes our devotion to each of them. Because humans are finite, our resources for expressing our love toward our romantic partners are limited. Being finite emphasizes the importance of being faithful in our romantic relationships. Since each of us has limited resources, it is selfish to spread our limited time, energy, and affections between multiple partners for the sake of our own gratification. Faithfulness requires devoting our romantic energy and interests to only one person. To say a human has unlimited, boundless love at their disposal is pure fiction.

Lastly, to claim our love is infinite is to commit idolatry. Romans 1:25 says, “For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator.” Claiming that the love of humans is infinite is an affront to God. Only God has limitless love. So vast is the love of God, he is described not only as possessing great amounts of it, but as being love. First John 4:16 says, “God is love.” To elevate human love to the same level as God’s is to worship the creature (mankind) rather than the Creator.

Not only does God have infinite love, but he also possesses infinite knowledge. Psalm 147:5 says, “Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.” Because God has infinite love and infinite knowledge, we can know he had our best interests in mind when he established the limits and bounds of our finiteness.

This should inform how we live our lives. If God loves us and knows what is best for us, it follows that his instructions on all manners of life should be obeyed. One of the limits God has instructed us about concerns our sexuality. He claims the proper use of sex is within the covenant of marriage—one man, one woman, becoming one flesh, for one lifetime (Matt. 19:4–6). Monogamy is a loving boundary God has instructed humanity to obey because he loves us immensely.

Beware of attempts to normalize sexual promiscuity that elevate human capacities to the level of deity. Watch out for linguistic sleights of hand that smuggle in destructive ideas through virtuous terms. Remember your proper place, and give God his proper worship.

Our love is a finite resource, but God loves us infinitely.